asphodellium

pre-parenthood ignorance and idealism

Posted on: 6 June 2010

Even before our wedding, people were ambushing Kevin and me with the “When are you having kids?” question. We brushed it off with a casual, “Oh, in two years, maybe.” Now it’s been two years (CRAZY) and the thought of parenthood still terrifies me.

But I can’t help thinking about it, because I work fairly extensively with teens, and because Kevin’s sister-in-law is currently expecting her second child, and because I’ve been furtively reading so-called mommyblogs. (Hey, so many of them are amazing writers!)

In all likelihood I won’t be a mother for another couple years yet. And I know everything changes once I am one, that the post-parent me will probably sneer with derision at the ignorance of pre-parent me. But there are some things I’d like to think I will never do with my children.

Like accrue junkloads of stuff on their account. Furniture, gear, TOYS. Babies don’t actually need that much, do they? I hate clutter. I am the clutter police. When I moved in with Kevin, I brought two suitcases with me … and a few boxes of books.

Like use the “one … two … three” warning count. Chinese parents seem to do this a lot, and I think it’s beyond silly.

Like give them annoying kiddie tunes to listen to. Real music is fine, thank you very much. Although I have heard a quality children’s CD, once.

Like make a huge deal of birthdays and holidays when they’re too young to realize what’s going on. It’s not like one-year-olds can appreciate parties, or gifts …

Like brag about them, incessantly, to people who have no reason to care. Yes, like all mothers I will probably think my child is the most brilliant and beautiful little cherub EVAR. And I’ll probably enthuse about him, or her, periodically if not frequently. I’m just hoping for enough presence of mind to retain a reasonable level of objectivity … to remember, for example, that most kids eventually learn to sip through a straw, or blow saliva bubbles, or sing the alphabet on-key. That mine does at so many months does not mean I have a monopoly on genius progeny.

Just a few pre-parenthood thoughts, sneers of derision notwithstanding.

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