asphodellium

Archive for July 2010

I’ve been living in limbo for two years.

It was beginning to frustrate me, until today, when I felt God reminding me to savour this era of my life. To live fully in the present, aware of how blessed I am, instead of complaining and wanting out and pinning my hopes on the future.

I do want our own home, and financial freedom, so that we can think about having children. I want a career, I want to travel. But there’s a time and a purpose for all things.

Now, I have plenty of free time. I can sleep in. I can read and write and learn new things, like stock trading and bass guitar. I don’t need to cook or clean much, but I can glean from my in-laws, who are phenomenal at both. They’ve taught me so much already. I’ve learned to be more sensitive to the needs and wishes of other people to whom I’m not directly responsible. I’ve learned many things I couldn’t have anywhere else.

Also, I’m young and healthy. I married my first love, and twenty six months later it still feels like a honeymoon.

God forbid that I forget.

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I grew up reading fairy tales, and I grew up singing Disney songs. Both of these will always be a part of me.

This nifty little analyzer claimed I write like Stephen King.

Then H.P. Lovecraft, then J.R.R. Tolkien, then Dan Brown. Yeah, every sample has yielded a different result so far.

So I’m being associated with big names in thriller, horror, and fantasy? I wonder what this implies about my writing style.

When I tried blog entries, it gave me Chuck Palahniuk and Vladimir Nabokov.

San Francisco and Fremont, California. Kevin and me. Fifteen young’uns, ages twelve to twenty two, under our guardianship.

The palm trees and stubbly barren hills. The unrelenting sunshine and cold evening breeze.

Figuring out the Bay Area transit system. Tricky because the bus drivers don’t seem to know anything outside of their own routes and kept giving contradictory information! They were friendly, though.

Squishing five tall, lanky guys in a room with one king-sized bed.

Wishing there weren’t TVs in the hotel rooms. Teens are so easily distracted by moving images. They also like to shop. A lot. But they’re surprisingly thrifty too.

Late-night cooking fiascos, trying to pack lunch and dinner for the following conference day. Sharing certain essentials (salt, dish detergent, the good knife) among three separate groups. Sending errand people after said items.

Sleep deprivation. I think I averaged five hours per night? Watching everyone struggle to stay awake during the sessions. Struggling to stay awake during sessions.

The epic cooking contest, won by room 217 with their made-from-scratch bacon pineapple burgers.

How we were struck down one by one, at one point or another, with assorted minor ailments … a sore throat here, dizziness there. Until only FOUR out of seventeen were left unaffected. (I was one! David another. Where are your immune systems?)